HarryShearer.com

Secretary of State Marco Rubio gave the game away this afternoon. After all the confusing reporting, based on confused statements, about why the United States decided to attack Iran now, Secretary Rubio said it clearly: We knew, he said, that “there was going to be an Israeli action, we knew that would precipitate an attack against American forces”, and so the administration decided on “pre-emptive” action.

Translated from the dry verbiage, when Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu visited the White House last month, the conversation with the President may have gone like this:

TRUMP: Bibi, the talks are still going on, Steve and Jared are great deal-makers, almost as good as I am, so I’m going to give them some more time. The Iranians can see all our ships and stuff, if that doesn’t convince them to make a deal, I’m Pocahontas.

NETANYAHU: Sir, I don’t know who that is—

TRUMP: It’s a joke, Jared can explain it to—

NETANYAHU: Donald, the time for jokes is over. We’re going all in. You can either be with us, or on the ashheap of history. Remembered for all time as a pathetic weakling, a manchild who couldn’t get an erection in a whorehouse.

TRUMP: Now wait a minute, Bibi, I’ve been in more whorehouses than you can imagine…

NETANYAHU: Do you want your people to see you as the strongest leader in American history, or as a pushover for any second-rate mullah?

TRUMP: Susie, do they rate mullahs?

NETANYAHU: Sir, my plane is warming up at Dulles. I should know your answer before I strap in. I hope I don’t get the same result I would have gotten if I was sitting across from a woman President.

TRUMP: Bibi, like Jeffrey Epstein said to the circus fat lady, I’m in.